What is a Coach?

Almost three years ago I realized my days coaching Maddox were coming to an end.  He started to crave and learn more about the game of soccer than I had the capability of understanding.  (remember I grew up running track and playing basketball). Regardless, I was delaying the inevitable and enjoying that season.

He made his first competitive team and was beyond excited to start on this journey.  Dad felt that it would humble him a bit by putting him on a squad with like-minded and talented kids.   No more show boating or thinking her was the best for the simple reason of goals.  We struggled a bit and he came back day in and day out and worked hard.   Attending multiple practices, working at home, learning the game as his coaches were teaching him.

As I learned more about the game and youth sports in general, there are massive gaps between the coaches, organization, parents, and players.  It is almost like that the four entities do not speak to each other.   Coaches are wrangling kids and attempting to achieve organizational expectations, parents have high expectations of playing time and winning, then you have the kids.  In this case, 8-10 year olds learning a game and having fun with their friends.   So many agendas and so many errors in judgment.   What I could muster is that if your kids had a deep passion and mom/dad had deep wallets, you could evolve to be a good player.   Player talent is not everything and politics do play a part of what opportunities are afforded.   This was mind-boggling and what I thought was wrong.   However, there was not any alternatives.

Fast forward to June 2018.  I just sat Maddox on my front porch and talked to him about his ‘placement’ on his soccer club.  For those that do not know, each year local youth clubs place their kids post tryouts onto teams.  The teams are typically assigned on skill so they are grouped with players in that same level.   Well, Maddox was placed on team two vs the team he made friends with.  I unknowingly learned that when you (the parent) get the call from the coach on what team your kids is on.  You assume the responsibility to explain it to the child.  #Parenting?   I have the slightest idea on where he was placed nor did I feel I was adequate to deliver this message.   I knew it was important and I prepared.   I spent hours reading about several players that he could relate too and then was going to allow him to come up with an action plan to ‘WORK’ to get better.   I was nervous….moments like this can change the character of a fragile child.

The conversation went well.  Upset at the news and took a few moments to think about it.  He asked to have private lessons.  One of the boys on his team was talking about it and Maddox saw that he could get better.  This in his mind would be the next step to get better.   He is the problem:  I had NO IDEA where to get private lessons for soccer.  Where do you even start.

I started to google, asked other parents, and ultimately put a list of four private coaches together.   We went to three of them and the last one was Coach Kyle.  I sat on my lawn chair and briefly explained why we were there.  I personally thought Kyle was incredibly young and yet he seemed knowledgeable about a process to develop a player.  I mean, I knew limited at this point.   I watched the session, Coach Kyle worked Maddox on the technical side of the game and the struggle was apparent.  We were nowhere near the skill needed at his age.  Kyle recapped in five minutes with me and we were on our way.   I had not made up my mind yet on who would be the ideal coach for him.  However, that evening I received a phone call from Coach Kyle.  We spoke an hour about Maddox.   He wanted to understand what I thought, the background, how passionate Maddox was, what sort of student he was, etc.  I was completely floored at the time he already began investing.   He meticulously laid out a plan that would evolve the skills over the next few years to have Maddox become competitive on the field.

Sunday was our day, I would drive 45 minutes to one-on-one training and I watched a coach’s love for the game be passed down to an eager student, I watched motivation, patience, and commitment to my son.  Then I saw Maddox evolve as a player, things started to happen, he started to understand the game, and he loved his coach.

We continued through the season with high and lows in performance.  But every Sunday was the education on the field.  Then early spring last year, Coach wanted to grab a beer and show something to me.  Over the 9 or so months, coach and I shared many conversations about the sport, being a father, a businessman, etc.  Life conversations.  I was captivated about how passionate Kyle was to change the game and his commitment to these kids.   So, we went and had that beer.

He shared a plan to launch a soccer program called the Prospects.   I was floored about the thought, time, and presentation he went through to do this.  It was well thought out, it was better than anything I seen, and it was a coach that I trusted.

I believe that kids need to have some skin in the game when it comes to decisions.  Maddox was at this club since he was 3 ½ years old and was going to be making a change at age 9.  The change also added a 45-minute drive home from work and then another 45-minute drive back to Celebration for practice.  Something that Mom & Dad would have to absorb.   I asked Maddox what he wanted to do:  “Coach Kyle” was his response without pause.

We are half way through our first Prospects season.  I have watched my son grow more in the last 6 months than the prior two years in the sport.  I watched an unbreakable relationship develop with a coach.   (I often catch Maddox sitting next to coach on the sideline.  When I ask what they talk about he goes “the game”)  I have watched a Coach dealing with all the obstacles, trials, and challenges of starting his own club.   It has been a privilege.

So, what is a Coach?

He is the mentor, teacher, expectation, and communicator.  He is the one that cares not only about the game but how it is played, he is the one that cares about the kid, he is the one that becomes part of the family.   Thank you Coach Kyle.