Being a Sports Dad

As everyone knows, Maddox plays soccer & Kennedy is in Gymnastics.  Our kids are the stereotypical kids that love their extracurricular activities and as parents we are there to encourage, open doors for them, and push them to be the better teammate, athlete, and citizen.

The rule in our home is you must do an activity, something social where you get to go out and burn off some energy, make your mind think, or just be social.  Our reasoning for this was pretty much the point that we did not want the kids to be addicted to iPads, video games, or sitting on the couch watching television.  Maddox has played since he was three.  We tried different sports (baseball, flag football) but nothing stuck like soccer.  Kennedy more reserved, chose her activities.  Drama Club, Gymnastics, and starting in a few weeks’ soccer.

From the start of Maddox’s time in soccer, I coached.  I was probably the most patient person on the field with young eager boys driving their sugar rushed Friday evenings into a shoot out of soccer balls in a goal.   It was intense and no amount of running or teaching them would have them fall in line.   I enjoyed every second of it and coached some pretty awesome teams over the years.  Then there was a point when Maddox stopped listening, he would do his own thing and not follow the game plan.   He didn’t seem to care what ‘Dad’ was saying but still wanted to play.  I hung the whistle up right as competitive tryouts opened for his age group.

Now it is 2017 and Maddox starts his soccer season.  Trained coaches, teaching the kid this beautiful game.  (which I only started following when MJ started playing).  The journey has had its ups and downs.  It still does.  Two years into competitive soccer I have watched my kids do amazing things, be great teammate, be a bad teammate, play afraid, play brave, etc.   The entire pie of possible emotions happens every week.  I have jumped down his throat because of a missed opportunity, shouted from the sideline, and wondered why am I paying all this money for him to play.

He sometimes does not care that he lost.  That is so difficult for me to wrap my head around.  Nick J Nickolaou “Nickolaou’s are winners and never give up”.  But his lack of care is not my fault or my inability to influence my late father’s motto onto him.   Is it?

Then I look at him tonight tucking him in.  He had a good practice, he was excited about watching the game tomorrow that I recorded for him, and we talked about the upcoming Orlando City season.  Maybe that is good enough.

As a sports dad, the chord that struck me was that our job is to be aware of how the kids is feeling.  Not telling him or her how to feel and acting on that.  I for one, want to be aware of his feelings and then to interject at the right times to help deliver these messages. I want all my kids to have amazing opportunities, to excel at what they choose to do, and push their skill level to new limits.  If most parents unlock the doors instead of projecting their own feeling onto the child we would all be better off.  Don’t get me wrong, this is difficult. I personally lapse it seems like weekly.  However, the proof is in the record.

1. He has never asked to skip practice.
2. He works harder and harder to improve skills with him 1 on 1 coach
3. He for the most part is learning great leadership and social skills
4. He still smiles when he plays and wants to go to every Orlando City game with his dad

So, share your thoughts with me as being a sports dad is tough.  What do you think?